If I Told You, I'd Have To Kill You
by zombie-vampire-ninja-squirrel
Summary: What would happen if Ryuk had a kid? What if her best friend was  halfbreed shinigami Beyond Birthday? What if said halfbreeds went to Wammy's House during the Kira case? Chaos. Thats what. Beyond major OOC. first ever fanfic! R&R no flames please


AN: I know its not that good but I am a young people and new to writing. Well, here's my fail.

"Raen, could you please tell us the answer?" I looked up, brushing my razor cut black hair out of my eyes, facing a stout middle-aged woman with shoulder length blonde hair.

"23.65"

"Good work." She spat forcefully "But could you put that book down and pay attention to my class please?"

"I could," I said, focusing on my manga once again "But that would mean I'd have to struggle to stay awake like the other students here. This manga is the final volume of my favorite series; I'm not going to stop reading it just so you can bore me to death." Behind me a soft chuckle sounded.

"Miss Falcon, you would do well to hold your tongue!" She said her eyes wide in the expanse of red that was her face.

"You would do well to learn that not everyone obeys orders." I muttered my own chuckles growing louder as her face turned purple. The laughter behind me also increased in volume but went unnoticed by teacher and students alike.

"Miss Falcon! To the principal's office! Now!"

"Very well," I replied smiling cheekily "If you insist." Grabbing my bookbag, I strode easily to the front of the lecture hall and gave the teacher a mock salute before throwing open the door and sprinting down the halls to the principal's office, an unseen shadow following mine.

"Everybody stop fucking each other and listen up!" I shouted as I busted down the office door, "WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!"

"What!" the secretary asked fixing her hair and backing away from the principal

_Oh my god, I was right. _"Umm okay first, EWWW! And second yea we are, eventually..."

"Miss Falcon, what have you done this time?" Principal Kroas growled. It seemed like he was trying to sound tough, but his balding sunburned head and short stature stopped that dream dead in its tracks.

"Calm down Mr.K, no need to get pissy just cause I interrupted your 'private time' with Ms. Sandler" Laughter erupted behind me but again went unheard.

"This is the seventh time you've been sent to my office in the past three days-"

"By the way, how's the wife?" I asked interrupting his boring speech. The reaction I desired came within seconds.

"That is it!" he roared "I'm calling your caseworker and telling her to get you as far away from this orphanage as possible!"

Yeah, I'm an orphan, get over it.

"Yes!" I shouted pumping my fist in the air "I'm finally leaving this hellhole!"

"So B," I started as I waited for my caseworker on the front steps of her latest attempt at a home for me "what'd you think of that one?" I looked up at him and again was surprised at his appearance. He was lanky, had short unruly hair and was wearing a red t-shirt over a black long sleeved shirt with a pair of baggy jeans; all in all he looked pretty badass, but still human...

"Three days," my best friend nodded, "new record for sure." B had only met me a couple of months ago but we had quickly grown to enjoy each other's company. We were really a lot alike, hell we were both halfbreeds, part human and part shinigami. We were total rejects in the human and shinigami worlds so us being friends was a given. I had the eyes and wings (when I wanted them) and could see other shinigami but I wouldn't receive my Deathnote until I had died and moved on to the Shinigami Realm, as B already had.

"Why won't you tell me about him?" I questioned, my crimson eyes staring into his as I fiddled with the single heart that dangled loosely from my ear. It belonged to my father and was my most cherished possesion.

"Because he told me not to."

"Yeah, but it's not like he's the king, right?"

"No..." he began a little hesitantly "but I still promised I wouldn't tell you."

"Dammit Beyond!" I shouted "What the fuck is with shinigami and promises? I just want to know who my father is! If you won't tell me I'll never know! Even Sidoh wouldn't say and he can't keep a secret for his life!" I have been visited by shinigami my entire life, all of them wanting to see a halfbreed. It wasn't like this had never happened before, Beyond was a halfbreed after all, but apparently my dad was pretty famous for being a troublemaker and they wanted to see if I was one too.

"Raen, calm down." He reprimanded "They'll medicate you again."

"I just want some cider..." I moaned "That's all. Just some nice, hot, apple cider..." I was practically addicted to apples. Cider got me my fix faster though and without it bad things tended to happen to the people who annoyed me.

"You really are your father's daughter." He chuckled

"First: that sentence made zero sense and second: my dad likes apples?"

"You kidding? His withdrawal symptoms are almost as bad as yours."

"He attacks people too?"

"No, his arms and legs get all twisted and he does handstands."

I tried to imagine a shinigami in the position he described and the gruesome thought caused my stomach to turn "... eww"

"Well, there goes my good mood." B stated monotonously as he saw my caseworker's shiny pink convertible pull up the drive.

"B, calm down." I mimicked "They'll medicate me again."

"Oh shut up."

"Raen honey, hurry up." My caseworker called "We have to get you to your new home as soon as possible."

"Speaking of which, where are we going this time?" I asked putting my suitcases in the back of her car and opening the door.

"It's in Winchester. I just know you're gonna love it!" I froze, remembering the stories Beyond had once told me of his orphanage in Winchester.

"Ummm what's the name?"

"Wammy's House" I looked behind me hesitantly to see B grinning madly and I already knew what he had in mind.

"Aw HELLS no!"

AN: Well, what did you think? Help is needed! Tell me if you see someting I need to improve on and sugest stuff you think would be cool to have in the story. Reviews get cookies and crowbars Reveiwers get nothing 'cause I'm broke :P


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